Recently I wound up changing desks at work. One of my co-workers transferred to a different department, and I’ve always liked the placement (and space) of her desk, so I asked if I could move.
It wasn’t a big move. My new desk is just a few feet from my old one, and it took me only about half-an-hour to get all my things moved from my old desk to my new desk (much of this time taken up by taking my computer apart and setting it back up again, and moving all my magnet words from one desk to the other).
And yet I was very excited to come to work on the day that I moved and every day since, but I couldn’t put my finger on why I got so excited. I think I’ve figured it out now.
Though I tend to avoid change, I’m used to experiencing change with a certain amount of regularity. After all, I’ve been in school for more than 10 years, and a certain pattern of change does accompany school, especially in college. Every four months or so, your routine changes. You get a new schedule, go to new places, and meet new people. And then you take a break for either one month or three, and do it all over again.
Whenever I think about the fact that I have a full-time job now, it occurs to me that this regularity of change isn’t really a part of my life anymore. And I kind of miss it. I miss the newness of a fresh set of classes. Meeting a new group of people that I’ll vaguely acknowledge once and then ignore for the rest of the semester (unless I happen to be hyper one day, in which case everybody is my best friend for that day). Getting to know the random whims of a new teacher. Re-experiencing the quirkiness of a favorite teacher.
It’s like my subconscious has been getting ready for an expected change that never happened, and then the first little change that came around satisfied that need.
Will that subconscious need for change ever disappear?
I sure hope not. That smacks of complacency and being stuck in a rut.Yikes.