Last year, I noticed that the closer graduation became, the more done I got with doing school things. There was a time of my life when I would have been perfectly comfortable continuing with school for the rest of my life, so long as I had a good long break every once in a while. But that time has come and gone like a freight train (note that the average freight train is not exactly fast). So approximately six months before I graduated with my masters degree, something in my psyche went, “Why are we still doing this to ourselves? It’s time to be done! Staaaaaaahhhhhhp!” (My mental processes often have different personalities, which is why I sometimes think to myself in plural.)
Now that I’m officially done with school, and not just mentally done (nevermind that I’m thinking about taking a class next semester just because I can), my mind has latched on to another thing to be done with.
I’m done with living in someone else’s space.
I want to be on my own. And I don’t necessarily mean alone. I want to LIVE on my own. I want to have my own space that I share with maybe one other person who is my own age. I want to invite a bunch of people over into my space and be the hostess. I want to wear whatever I want throughout my space and not just in my room. I want to watch movies without headphones on. I want to cook my own meals, forget to eat, neglect my laundry, leave my dirty dishes for tomorrow, and clean my whole apartment—possibly at two in the morning. I want to face all the struggles of being an apartment dweller. I want to make noise. I want to ignore all conceptions of traditional “bed times.” Maybe even leave the lights on all night. In general, I want to not worry about bothering people from older generations with my 20-something-ness.
Yes, I am aware that some of the things I listed above are things that cannot be done in an apartment. More so if I have a roommate.
As with school, this “done-ness” has come far earlier than anything that can conceivably be done about it. I’ve decided that it would be far wiser of me to first pay off all major bills *cough*school bills*cough*. Since it is possible to pay off my bills in the next six months, that’s what I must do. But sadly, that means I can only dream about getting an apartment. I can’t turn it into a reality. But one thing is for certain—one way or another, I’m going to enjoy all the things, the bad and the good, about being a 20-something while I still have the energy.
The question I’m struggling with right now is, do I want to live alone or do I want a roommate? Apartment life would be much more affordable with a roommate, but I would like to live alone, too. Having a roommate would also be safer. But living alone would certainly give me an incentive to start taking self-defense classes.